Despondence
by DoggoWoof
Summary: Self-hatred can only get you so far. An attempt to escape leads Wolf to Fox, the curious vulpine with his own hidden problems, catalysing far more than he ever expected. Wolf x Fox.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note:**

Can't help but feel like I've been slacking recently (though, I've always procrastinated with my writing), so hopefully this might make up for it?

* * *

 _Struggling to fill his lungs; suffocating in this world he hates. Darkness sinking in deeper, the light fading. The only reason he's survived is a shred of deep-ingrained defiance. Trapped in this existence, space slowly shrinking all around him. The black vacuum seemingly screaming at him while eerily silent._

Shooting up in a cold sweat, a shaky hand runs through the tuft of his hair. Enclosed in the tight walls of his fighter, sun glistening against the reflective glass. He took a moment just to calm himself down, taking long draughts of air.

 _What the fuck am I doing?_

Shooting his right leg out, he swiftly kicked open the canopy of his craft; a reckless act seeing as though it could have broken. Then how would he get off should he ever want to? Grasping to his right, he took his blaster and leaped out in a less than graceful manner, landing with a stumble.

The sun's cheeriness hurt, burning against him, blinding him. He moved over to the shade of the trees, slumping down against the bark. _What the fuck do I do now?_ Observing his surroundings, he took little note of value. Grass, trees, green _everywhere._ Almost as if it was taunting him.

A rustling in a far off bush caught his attention, peering over and waiting for the source to reveal itself. Shortly after, a bunny emerged from the foliage cautiously hopping around. Not cautious enough. The sight was strange to him, seeing the primitive life forms of many of the species he'd interacted with on a daily basis; all it would do is remind him of that damned hare. He'd seen plenty of other species too; pigs, wolves, horses, sheep, to name a few. Those, and...

Clenching his fist, he stood up deciding to go hunting for food. He'd be here for a while, so he better get prepared. Moving through the forest, using his bayonet to mark trees as he went, he left searching for something to eat. It wasn't wrong to eat something like that, right? Then again, he'd already killed many other things, what's one more going to do?

 _I'm a monster._

A monster who's starving, his predator instincts kicking in. Following a far off scent, he found his prey; a lone adult boar stood feasting on the carcass of _something._ It was so far mutilated it was almost impossible to tell.

Raising his blaster, he took deep breaths trying to calm his sway. _It would do the same thing._ One shot to the head would be all that it takes. _It's already done the same._ The boar oblivious to it's imminent death. _It's worse than me._

 **Bang.**

The boar toppled over onto it's side, resting next to it's own prey. _Nothing's worse than me._ Now that he'd killed it, he had little idea of what to do with it. Moving it would be a problem, plus it would need to be skinned. Probably cooked, too, and he didn't plan on setting up so close to a murder scene.

Just as he was about to reach the dead pig, a voice called out to him from behind. "Wolf!"

He knew that voice well. _Too_ well. What was _he_ doing here? His body straightened up on impulse, and he gave a sideways glance to the source of the noise. _Fox fucking McCloud. Of COURSE it would be him._

"Don't come near me." Past memories found themselves creeping back up on him, a deep feeling of dread taking hold of him. Death death death death death death it's all death. He'd killed so much; there was no escape from that.

"I just want t-"

He raised his arm facing him, gun in hand, pointed directly at his skull. Well, 'directly', forgiving the relentless shaking of his hand. "Don't... Come... Closer." Would it always be like this? Always showing himself as a reminder for what he'd done. And yet he had the gall to assume that he'd managed to escape his past. A lone tear fell from his eye in a defiant act to the stoicism in his face, which was the only thing which _remained_ stoic.

And there Wolf stood, looking so broken to Fox. He wanted to move closer, a strange feeling deep inside him wanting to try fix whatever problem was causing it, to fix _him,_ overwhelmed by the obvious feeling that he shouldn't. Standing still, trying to remove all intention of hostility from his face, if there even were any to begin with, he stared.

He even did _that_ better than Wolf too. Eyes shifting left and right in anticipation of anyone else coming; that stupid bird, the obnoxious toad, or perhaps his trophy girlfriend. They could jump him any moment, and he wasn't taking the risk of letting Fox closer. His unarmed claw clenched, distracting him from his thoughts once more. The green in Fox's eyes piercing him, seemingly searching for answers.

 _Stop._

Lowering his gun, he shot at the floor close to Fox's feet before dashing off into the woods behind him. _Sure, just keep running. I'm good at that._ His inner bitterness bit against him, while a little bit more shattered inside.

Fox stood unmoving, staring off at the fleeting lupine, perplexed.

* * *

Struggling to breathe again, sick of living in fear of it being his last. _I have to leave here._ After a quick shake of his head, he hopped down from the branch he sat perched on, landing and swinging on other lower branches to make it to the ground.

He'd made sure to run in as straight of a line as he could, to avoid getting lost, which he now began to retrace. No sign of Fox, he'd either lost him or given up. Either works. Eventually finding the sliced trees, his pulse quickened. Keeping a watchful eye out, he slowly moved following his markings; Fox had snook up behind him so he must have came from this direction. The direction of... His ship. _Shit!_

Reaching the clearing, the first thing he noticed was the shut cockpit. On the bright side, there was no Fox. Rushing over, he leapt onto the wing and tried to open the window, unbudging. It took him a moment to realise an electronic device attached to the craft. _That bastard!_

Consistently tugging at it did nothing, and soon rage took over him. Slamming his fists into the glass repeatedly, over and over in a fit. "Wolf?" The voice fell on deaf ears as his assault continued. A small crack formed, and after a few more hits he was successful, his left arm plunging through the glass. "Wolf!" Fox rushed over to the side of the ship, looking up and staring at him in bewilderment.

Huffing, his bloodied hand rested against the glass covered seat, shards digging into him all over. The pain distracted him from his anger, staring into the pool of red on the seat below. _What am I doing!_ "What do you want" he murmured inaudibly.

"Huh?"

"What. Do. You. Want." He growled out, refusing to face him.

Fox shook his head gently. "You're bleeding, come down." Nothing. "Let me help patch you up."

"This is a reminder of how stupid I am." He let out, finally pulling his arm out from it's prison, cutting it even more.

"Well then let me make it a reminder of how stupid I'm not. What's the point in leaving it like that?" Silence again. "I'll head back to my ship real quick, stay here." He commanded, making it sound more like a question. Shortly after, he was gone.

Wolf moved over to the tree he sat under earlier, seeing no point in running now. Crimson stained the lush green below him, not that he cared. His thoughts were placed elsewhere. Fox returned, a white box in hand, and moving over to Wolf immediately as he saw him. He sat beside him and opened the kit, revealing an assortment of first aid equipment. "Give me your hand."

He grasped his arm and pulled it towards him slightly, only for Wolf to fiercely tug it back, receiving a disapproving glare from Fox. "Why are you acting like this?" He asked, getting slightly ticked off.

"Why should you care?" He let out bitterly. "What would you know..." Following quietly.

"Wolf." He goaded trying to get his answer, to no avail. He grabbed his arm again, this time not receiving any opposition, a slight smile forming on his face. After spraying the wounds with an antibiotic spray, eliciting a small whine from the lupine, he began to wrap around the cuts with gauze, applying pressure to the wound to try stop the bleeding.

"You wanted to know why I'm here, huh?" He let out while working on his arm, Wolf biting his lip avoiding answering. "Peppy wanted me to check on you. Nobody lives on this planet, and for good reason. It's not as forgiving as Corneria, or other planets in our system, hence the inhabitants."

"I don't _want_ to be 'forgiven'. I came here to get _away_ from that idealistic bullshit." A lie, with partial truth behind his bitterness. That wasn't the _real_ reason, though it was a strong factor.

"Does that matter? You couldeasily die here; is that what you want?"

"It's what everyone else would want, so who cares."

"I wouldn't." Fox replied, finally finishing his wrapping, tying it in a knot. "I don't know what you think, but I know I wouldn't want to see _anyone_ die alone, nor..." He trailed off, looking away.

"Nor..?"

"If you _do_ live, how long do you think you'll survive?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"How long do you think it'll last until you become one of them?" _One of... Them?_ "No one will understand you, no one will talk to you, or help you." He couldn't help but feel that Fox was hiding something from him.

"Sounds just like how it is now."

"Well I'm trying, okay?" _You have no reason to._

"Do you really think I'd become one of them?" He asked, trying to find the secret.

"Corneria did some tests over at this planet, you know. Years ago. They didn't last long here..."

"What do you mean?" This all sounds too 'illegal', for the prestigious Corneria. Testing? On people? Isn't that...

"Andross. He was head of this, and other projects at the time. His 'subjects' reverted, so to speak. Don't know much else of it, nor his findings, but he was exiled later and it was deleted." He spoke truthfully, trying to keep everything open for Wolf.

"And how would _you_ know?" He asked, a distinct feeling of doubt in the lupine.

"Peppy's the general now, you know. That's a lot of power, and access to several things hidden. Though he shouldn't, he told me this and asked to try bring you back."

"That doesn't explain to me why you would _want_ to help me." He replied, growling.

"I told you, didn't I?"

"I wouldn't want to see anyone die alone, huh? Tell me Fox, what about Andross." He flinched; struck a nerve.

"He's... Different." He closed his eyes, clenching both fists.

"How so? I helped him. I'm just as bad as guilty as he is."

"You do work, you get paid, I can't hold that against you. I've killed just as many people as you. We're _mercenaries_ , Wolf." _There he goes, trying to lump us together. We're not the same._

"I'm a _monster_ , Fox. What don't you see about that!" He almost shouted, immediately regretting letting his emotions get the better of him. _Shit._

"You're not. A monster couldn't call himself one. You..." he trailed off, thinking on how to word his thoughts. "You're remorseful, aren't you?"

Bingo, not that he'd ever tell him. "No."

"Then how do you explain this; why is _everyone_ still alive?" The typical response of no response. "You came and helped us during the invasion."

"Common enemy." He stated bluntly, a rehearsed answer. "Who wouldn't?"

"Fine, why am _I_ alive."

"Because," _You can do what I can't..._ "I'll be the one who" _loses_ "kills you. I told you, didn't I?" A sceptical look from the vulpine, probing for answers.

"Be honest with me."

"Stop lying to me" He retaliated.

"I'm not lying to you."

"Then you should lie to me. It's all the same to me anyway."

"Lying hurts someone in the end, and I don't intend on doing so." _More righteous bullshit, huh?_

"You can't hurt me." He stated, standing up. You can't make things worse. I know it all.

Fox moving to stand up too. "Well even so, I worry I might either way." A question burning deep inside, reluctant to be spoken.

"Hmph." And then they were left in silence. Wolf's thoughts began to sank deeper, fading alongside the setting sun. He's wrong. I know what I am. A hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts. Don't touch me. A glare to his questioning eyes.

"You coming, then?" An impassive glare, and Fox led the way to his Arwing, Wolf deciding not to follow. "We're gonna have to leave your Wolfen for now, I guess. That's not flying any time soon." He said, eliciting a growl from Wolf, the pain of his arm a reminder of his mistakes.

"And? What do I do once you've taken me? Jail? Death?" Regardless of the answer, he'd resigned to his fate. There's nothing I can do...

"Well... We'll sort that out when we get there, okay?" He has no ulterior motive, doesn't mean the rest don't.

"And if I stay?" He stood defiantly, Fox turning around to face him.

"That's not really an option here. I don't want to, but if I have to..." _You'll take me by force._

Fine, he'd go with a few broken bones; he'll be useless anyway. _Stop being stubborn_. An imperceptible growl, realising the best option here. _Fuck it._ He reluctantly followed, keeping distance between the two, should anything go wrong.

Reaching the Arwing, one thing was painfully obvious. "Unfortunately, since you can't fly, and I only have one seat available..." Fox cursed his luck, forgetting to clear out the space on the back seat; a clutter of groceries he'd _intended_ on leaving back on the Great Fox. In hindsight, he should have put _those_ in the cargo bay, but it seemed such a hassle to do so now.

"I get it, don't care."

"Unless, of course, you'd rather go in the carg-. No of course not." The look he received from Wolf stopped him midway through. "Just, try not to make things awkward, okay?" Wolf seemed disinterested, that same distant look in his eyes again. He couldn't stop his curiosity any more. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I won't make things awkward."

"No, not that. I mean are _you_ okay?"

"Never been better." _Don't pry._

An evident lie, but Fox knew better than to force it, nodding and leaving it at that. Maybe later.

* * *

After arriving at the Great Fox, Wolf's arm was patched up properly and Fox left him to prepare food, leaving Wolf on his own to wander. One thing he noted was that it was quiet; too quiet, given that there should be at least 3 others on here. Walking around, he noticed many of the rooms were sparse, few marks tarnished the metallic walls, showing how new this ship was. Strangely dusty, though.

Moving into what seemed to be a common room, he read the time on the wall clock. **12:37**. The planets day-night cycle was almost polar opposite to Corneria's, no wonder he felt so tired. _Sure, use that as an excuse._

His stomach grumbled, reminding him that he was still in fact hungry. Speaking of hungry, he began to wonder where Fox had walked off to. Walking past the bedrooms — still no noise to be heard — the scent of food cooking filled his nostrils. Following the trail, he was led to a kitchen dining room of sorts, Fox cooking some meat on the pan; bacon, the synthetic crap all Cornerians use. He'd grown used to the real thing which were sold on Venom; though now knowing where that stuff could have came from made him feel sick.

"Hey, take a seat. Food's done soon." He waved his hand lazily over towards the dining table.

"Where is everyone?" He asked as he sat down, staring at the vulpine.

"They're- uh... Not here."

"Not here?"

He looked forlorn for a second, before perking back up again with his usual cheery look. "You know about Peppy. Krystal's living in Corneria now, she's retired. Slippy doesn't come often any more, he's always helping his dad..." _He'd rather spend time with him and not me._ Though he understood very well, he couldn't stop his bitter thoughts.

"And the bird?" A slight twinge of emotion hit the vulpine.

"Falco's..." After a gulp, he steeled himself. "Falco's dead. Once the invasion was over, he left the team. Started his own, got together with a few friends he knew before. Star Falco, he named it; as if it wasn't redundant at this point. He was so happy..." He reminisced, remembering the last words he heard from the avian. "I'll become better than you some day, he told me. He was sick of 'being in my shadow', as he put it. _That's_ why he was happy. Happy not because he had his own team, but because I wasn't there." He clenched his fists, sighing. "Died first mission, got in over his head. Katt still hates me to this day..."

Wolf had no clue how to respond. He knew the pain of loss all too well; him being the cause of it for many. That action having an equal reaction on himself, bearing the weight of that; or so he thought. Life was cruel to everyone. Fox busied himself with the food once more, a smile etched onto his face.

Wolf knew from experience how forced that look was.

Fox finished his preparation and moved to the table, bacon sandwiches in tow. The clanking of china against the table broke Wolf from his thoughts, as Fox sat opposite him. "So, you and Krystal still a thing?"

He remembered the news all too well. 'McCloud's girlfriend?' Accused of many things for it. He'd saved her life, and she'd fallen for him. Yet, of course, that would get manipulated to him abducting her from her home planet. Story skewing further, the details he'd rather not mention.

"Yeah, I suppose. We don't see each other often, though." He reluctantly admitted. "I guess retired is a bit of a stretch. She works as a model now, I think, planet hopping daily." _Causing yet more rumours to spread._ "I just wish she'd tell me where she was going, from time to time. It's been a month..."

 _You're lying to yourself._ Wolf knew this all too well. A loss for words once again. They ate in silence, the stale words lingering in the air.

Standing up, his chair screeching against the floor, Wolf made his way to the door. "Why..." He murmured to himself, audible enough for Fox to hear. "Wolf?" He stood in the hallway, not knowing where to go. The rec room was the best bet, as he began making his way to there. _This isn't right..._

Thoughts plagued once more, he sat on the couch. It hurt. It always hurts, but it hurts more. _Some things you can't control._ His chest, more precisely. This newfound information struck something in Wolf, and he didn't know how to deal with it. _Forget about it._ How could he forget about it. Lethargy hitting him, he lay down against the sofa and soon found sleep.

* * *

 _Choking once more. Lungs filling with a non-existent substance, pain surging over his body. It's black, too black. Why is it always black? Why can't he see what's happening? Movement futile, and yet he fought. Fought for his freedom against the twisting shadows, looking for an exit._

 _An abstract feeling of warmth against his head, an anomaly from the dark. Using the heat, he calmed himself, feeling infinitely times more safe._

Eyes shooting open, drawing out shaky breath, his gaze met with a concerned Fox's own. It took little time to realise his head was rested in his lap, yet strangely enough that didn't phase him. What did phase him, however, was what Fox probably saw; his eyes wide open radiating empathy, his hand resting against Wolf's head. "F-Fox?" He let out shakily, only for Fox to shake his head in return.

"Don't talk, get your breath first. We'll talk later." He hushed him, looking straight forward at the wall. Taking deep breaths, an action well practised, restored his breathing, yet the small act of affection on the lupine's head was all it took for his heart to refuse it's incessant beating. _What's this?_

"Fox?" He spoke again, alerting the vulpine.

"You good now?" Replying with a sigh. A nod of his head resulted in a smile from Fox. "You wanna talk?" He asked reluctantly.

"No." Almost immediately, as the others smile flipped.

"Well, I do." _Don't pry._ "What was that all about?"

"Nothing. It's normal."

"Th-that's normal? If so, that is _not_ nothing." _Don't pry._ "Please, Wolf?" Nothing. He didn't know what he expected. "Are they usually that bad?"

"That was probably the best one I've had..." He murmured, knowing all too well why. _I can't be like this._ Fox knew too, or at least Wolf thought so given the slight happiness evident on his face. His miniature victory. As much as it pained him to see someone suffer like that, he took satisfaction in being able to help.

"That's no good..." he murmured to himself. _Don't look down on me._

The conversation hit a sour note once again, leaving them only with the sounds of the ship. Suddenly he found himself enveloped by the other in an embrace. _W-what?_ Heart pounding wildly, he had no idea what to do, so he submitted to the hug, shaking. "F..." his name on the tip of his tongue, dancing, teetering on the edge. A sudden stabbing pain in his lower back caused him to try call out, but his voice refused to listen.

A literal stabbing pain. A knife in Fox's clutches, lodged deep inside, blood pouring all over him. "This is why I brought you here." Malicious words taunted him. "To find out how weak you really are. Why would anyone _ever_ save _you?"_ A lone tear ran down the lupine's face, unable to shed more. As much as the words hurt, he knew it all along.

 _No..._

 _He's right._

 _It can't be..._

 _He couldn't be more right._

 _But I wish it wasn't._

 _But it always will be._

" _-LF"_ He was shaking, or rather being shook. Fox's arms on each shoulder, snapping him out of his trance. _Huh?_

"You're good, you're okay, yeah? It's over, right?" Fox spoke in rushed words. It was far worse than he expected.

"What? What's wrong?"

"You just stopped, silent, then began shaking wildly. And..." he neglected saying much more, for fear of worrying him. "You hear what I said?"

"Depends on what was said." He spoke, trying to shake the daydream out of his mind.

"I spoke to Peppy, about you. He told me a few things and..." _He's handing me in._

"I get it. I'd already resigned to it long ago." Pulling away from the vulpine, he sat upright against the cushions.

"I don't think you do. He said you're free to go." _He's hiding something._

Standing now, refusing to face the vulpine, he asked. " _Really_ now?"

"And- uh... I wa-"

"Save it." He began to leave the room, wanting to be on his own. "You're keeping things from me. I have no intention of listening further."

Fox clenched his fists, quickly getting up himself, looking at him. "That's not it, damnit!" He shouted, startling the lupine. "I haven't lied to you at all! Not once!"

"I didn't say that. You're hiding something, it's so obvious it hurts." _Obvious because I do the same thing..._

"Maybe if you'd let me _finish_ then you'd find it out!"

"Go ahead."

Back to a timid demeanour, relaxing his muscles, he took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you'd... want to stay... with me?"

A wasted effort, leaving the vulpine on his own in the room. Collapsing back into the chair, head planted in his hands clasping at his head fur. What did he do wrong _this_ time? He didn't lie, tried to be as open as possible, as nice as he could too. Do people hate that kind of thing? _Does everyone just hate me?_

Peppy seemed to be the only one who's stayed with him this entire time; due to some sense of obligation he surmised. That wasn't what he wanted, it wasn't _real._ As bad as the thought was, Wolf was in the same boat as him. He thought he could find some refuge in the other. So _why?_

 _Am I just repulsive?_

Wolf, however, was not faring with his thoughts much better. An intense ache in his chest as his heart beats wavered. This wasn't happening. The sincerity in the vulpine hurt, not knowing why.

How he _loathed_ the joy he was experiencing...

 _This isn't fair._ Motionless, he stood. Turned down by everyone, despite being the one who would go out of his way for anyone. _And I just did the same thing._ It's different. He clenched his fist, claws scraping dangerously against his flesh. It's for the best. _I'll just change him._ His presence cataclysmic, Fox would become just like him. Sympathy from the other didn't help.

 _I refuse to bring another down with me._

* * *

Corneria in sight, the two neared their destination. Fox stood by a window, watching the looming planet close in slowly. _I have to do something._ The two hadn't spoken since their last meeting, but he doubted it would be hard to find him. _Is he avoiding me?_

Walking down the corridor, rooms passed with no evidence of the lupine ever touching it. Thinking about it, there was really only one place he could imagine Wolf hiding. Turning, he ran down the corridor and took the elevator down to the docking bay and sure enough, Wolf was sat in the corner.

"You just running, then?"

"It's all I'm good at." He muttered in response.

"Have you thought about my proposal?"

"Yes. And no." A swift response, stabbing through his heart.

"Why not?" He spoke weakly, fearful of his response. "Why are you leaving me, too? I saved you, and yet..." _You hate me._

"I can't stay with you, or join your team, or whatever the hell you want. It's wrong."

"Wrong... Huh?" He whispered to himself. "Is that what everyone else thought? Just being with me is _wrong?"_ He spoke louder, restraining himself. "Tell me, what's so wrong about me, huh? Am I stupid? Annoying? Arrogant? Conceited? Controlling?"

All Wolf could do was shake his head.

"Then _what_ is it?!"

Nothing.

"Why does _everyone_ hate me?" His rage continued, speaking more to himself again, losing himself in a trance. It's all the same. You protect someone throughout your flights as if your life depended on it, and they leave you to go kill themselves.

You save someone from a life trapped in a crystal on a foreign planet with killer dinosaurs, getting swallowed whole by one of them, just for them to hide their presence from you.

You stay friends with a fledgling mechanic, offer him a job on your team to help him gain more experience, and he runs to go use it for someone else.

He'd never left anyone else. There was one common factor in each of these cases; Fox. He'd somehow fucked everything despite trying his hardest not to. Even now he was doing the same exact same thing.

Wolf was probably the person most resentful towards him, but somewhere he'd thought he reached an understanding with the other. They were more like each other than they took credit for. If anyone had his answers, it would be Wolf. And yet 'Wrong' is all he's given.

"Wrong... I'm 'wrong'" Melancholy washed over his rage, leading him to reflect on everything.

" _I'll be back in a week, Fox. Take care of the house." James' smile beamed down at him._

Gone... _That's not his fault._

" _It's gonna take a lot to keep this hare out of the sky, sonny." Peppy smirked, turning from the piloting seat of the Great Fox._

Gone...

"Fox." Wolf called out, reaching his limit. The vulpine turned to face him, glossy eyes threatening tears. And yet he was smiling... That usual, cheery look. A fit of anger, followed by depressing memories of the past, and yet it remained. Wolf's chest constricted, closing his eyes. _How far will he go..._

"Who's fault do you think this is?" He asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm the common factor in all of this."

"That doesn't make it your fault. Just because they left you doesn't make it your fault."

"Then how _can_ you explain it. You've established it's because I'm 'wrong', whatever that means. If you have all the answers, why not just say?"

"It's not because you're wrong, but I am. All those things you've said, and more, perfectly describe me. That's why I can't stay with you."

"But-"

"There's no 'but' about it. If I'm with you, I'll change you. I don't want that. There's a reason you found me on that planet."

"You said you never wanted to be forgiven."

"I left because I _shouldn't_ be forgiven. Everything I've done has been bad. I've torn families apart. Worked for a madman. I've ran a base of pirates. Death after death, it's all the same. I was associated in killing your father, too." He stated, the other flinching. He'd expected as much, but bringing it up still pained him.

"And yet, you're the only person I feel I could relate to... Tell me, what part _did_ you have in his death."

"We fought, he fell. Can't say much more."

" _We?_ "

"Star Wolf."

"And who took the last shot?"

"Does it matter?" _None of us..._

"No... I suppose not." He admitted, defeated. "Even with all this, I... I just." His smile began to waver, yet he was determined to keep up his image. "I don't care. I just want _someone_ to be with. Someone who won't leave me..."

"Stop."

"Damn it, Wolf, I-"

"Stop." He interrupted, as Fox took another step closer.

"Why should I?"

"I've brought many people down with me; I don't want you to be one of them. You're too," _Perfect_ "good to be around someone like me. I'll just drag you down."

"You don't give yourself enough credit."

"You give me too much credit." He rebuked, looking away.

"I don't think you're half as bad as what you make yourself out to be." _Shut up._ "You've done what you had to to survive," _I'm not listening_ "you've never annoyed me." _Stop lying..._ "I could never call someone who's fought against all odds stupid." _…to me..._ "You may be slightly arrogant, but that's just who you are; it's not a bad thing." _...with that..._ "Even if you think negatively of yourself, I won't." _…god damn..._ "I've probably killed more than you have..." _...face!_

Wolf stood, fiercely looking at the other. The look of surprise masked by a false happiness, driving him insane. "How can I trust you?!" He accused, pointing a finger at the other. "When all you do is hide how you _really_ feel? How long are you planning on keeping this lie alive? How am _I_ supposed to know that _you_ don't hate me?"

"Because..."

"When will you give it up? I've had enough!" He shouted, not waiting for a response. "I can tell how this is affecting you, but you won't show me, or anyone. And even now, after calling you out on it, you _still_ carry on."

"I... I..." He stuttered, shaking slightly. His facade began to shatter, piece by piece. Tears flowing freely, bringing his hands up to try cover himself. Smile distorting into a frown, breaking his gaze with the lupine looking down at the floor. "Is this what you wanted?" He spoke between sniffles. "To see me like this?"

Wolf's pulse quickened, palpitating intensely. That same stabbing finding it's way there once again. _No... No it's not._ He moved closer and, ignoring all sense of reason, wrapped his arms around the crying male. Arms clutched around him desperately, trying to hold onto Wolf as if it was all he had left. "Let it all out." Wolf said gently, a weak attempt to try comfort the other as he had done earlier.

"Please, just... Don't leave me."

"Promise me something." He nodded his head furiously. "Don't hide how you feel from me, okay?" Another set of nodding. "Never think negatively of yourself again." _Because it just makes me feel far worse by comparison._ A more reluctant nod. "Don't let me contaminate you." He shook his head, looking up to the other, water reflecting the light from his eyes, shining like emeralds.

"There's nothing to contaminate me with."He said, Wolf looking down in disapproval. "If I'm not allowed to think negatively, neither are you."

"That isn't part of the deal."

"I can't have you taking all the burden, or you might hate me too eventually... I don't want to mess this up."

"I... I'll try."

"And I'll help." He stared at the other in thought. "And, on the note of not hiding how I feel..."

"Hm?" Fox quickly moved to plant his lips against the others; Wolf's eyes shooting wide open. Moving away from the embrace, Fox looked up at him. "I don't know if that was the right thing, but I just..." He looked down, kicking the floor idly. "It felt right, somehow." Wolf couldn't deny that he enjoyed it more than he let on, heart racing, a deep fuzziness in his chest giving him warmth.

"I don't know..."

"Honestly, I don't know what this is myself... When I see you, my heart tightens, and I feel the urge to help..." He trailed off.

"Maybe it's because you're just as alone as I feel..."

"I could just be blowing this all out of proportion, really."

"Or perhaps it's just after all this loneliness that I feel this way," He chuckled bitterly. "but..."

"I think it might be love..." He looked up, glossy eyes abstract against his smile. A genuine smile. As strange as the word was to the lupine, he held the same sentiment. Whether it's love or not doesn't matter. It's something, and that's all that counts.

Wolf found himself smiling, too, a first in a long time. He couldn't remember the last time; years, he guessed. That defiant, belittling voice pushed to the back of his mind, making way for happiness. Maybe he could start anew, with all his past darkness at his feet. Only time would tell.

* * *

 **End note:**

This day project turned into a 'stay up all night' sort of thing; not that I mind. Writing it was pretty fun, and hopefully I'll stop slacking. I gotta be up for uni in around 3 and a half hours so...

Hope you enjoyed? Thanks for reading, love you all 3


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note:**

This story _was_ done, but it kind of felt unresolved to me. I'll probably add one more chapter to this later, based on whether I feel these actually add to the story rather than take away from it. This chapter might also end up getting removed later, I dunno. Opinions appreciated.

* * *

 _How long has it been like this?_ Wolf lay, staring up at the bland ceiling. _How long_ _will_ _it be like this?_ Hand held high, seemingly reaching for an intangible solution. The realisation of reality hit him far sooner than he expected.

And what could he do about it now?

Calming himself had become a routine, and often he never even thought about it; after recent events this had changed. He'd found a potential solution to it all, and yet it scared him.

The looming planet could still be seen through the window. The Great Fox had never landed on Corneria; Fox went down on his own in his own rose from his position, and walked out into the corridors. The mechanical whirs of the ship alongside the clanking of his boots was all that could be heard in the eerie corridors. _He doesn't trust me._

Heart constricting, he continued his journey. He never liked the silence, despite being subjected to it most of his life. _What did they sound like again?_ A bitter smile marked his face, knowing all too well that wasn't the case. Leon couldn't keep his god damn mouth shut.

Eventually reaching his destination, he walked towards the closest Arwing; something he noticed from earlier. Crossing his fingers he climbed up, placing his hands against the glass. Luckily, his hopes were fulfilled when the cockpit opened, admitting entrance.

With all of the obviously labelled buttons and switches, it was evident who's ship this was; a sidelong frown found a way onto his face.

 _"I think it might be love..."_

Turning the power on, glad to find it wasn't drained, he closed the roof and readied himself.

 _"So, you and Krystal still a thing?"_

Clenching against the control stick, he clicked more buttons to his side.

 _"Yeah..."_

A mechanical voice filling his ears. "Access Granted." Bay opening, he was greeted with the tauntingly close planet. Launching out, he was free, doors closing behind him.

Finally, he let out a drawn out groan. _What was I thinking?!_ He'd acted awfully. The feeling of arms wrapped around him faintly reminded him of his mistakes. The slight remnants of their kiss also remained, tormenting him further.

 _Love, huh?_

A hint of raspberry filled his lungs, reminded once again of the sour situation he was in. What _could_ he believe? He felt out of place; A wolf in a fox's den. Letting his emotions get the better of him was a fatal mistake — one he doesn't plan on making again.

It hurt.

It hurt knowing. It hurt not knowing. Heart thrashing in an internal attack; revolting, wishing to be free. Moving his free hand to his head, he tried to steady himself. The sweet words which made his pulse race turned bitter with age. His usual routine had little effect, spurring him further into panic. Panting, filling his lungs with the toxic air around him.

He _needed_ to land.

Diving down in a desperate motion, he fought against the voices. He was used to this. He _should be_ used to this. Always second place; so _why_ was this so troublesome?

 _Love... Dangerous words, Fox..._

Entering the atmosphere, he found himself at a remote location not too far from the city. Sweat dripping from his forehead; hands shaking, lungs begging, mind screaming, vision blurring. _I should have stayed..._

 _But I need to go._

Realising with a start, he hadn't slowed since arriving, not helping his inner turmoil. Yanking back, the ship began to slow.

...

Eye shooting open, he found himself grounded. _Huh?_ Opening the hatch, he leapt down from the cockpit, legs giving in upon landing securely planting his face against the ground. Weakly getting up, he looked back to see the state of the craft.

Not bad, all things considered. A few scratches, lopsided angle but other than that, better than expected. _I guess I blacked out..._ He shook his head, nausea still prevalent, and proceeded to scan around him.

Trees. Lake. A rather bland landscape around him. The lush of the green leaves contrasting against the grimy surface of the water. _What now?_ He'd ran to the surface of the planet which despised him, in an attempt to escape from someone who cared for him. _I won't let his lies get to me._

He moved to sit beside the lake, staring at his deformed reflection. Words flittered in and out of his mind, having trouble with deciding which were true. _"You're free to go."_ His heart twisted, reminding him of the incessant pain. _Peppy, huh?_ Lying on his back, he stared up to the sky, the obnoxious sphere above reminding him that it's still rather early. Maybe 1 or 2 o'clock?

Moving to his side to hide from the star, he shut his eye, deciding he was too tired to walk at the moment. Stomach grumbling in annoyance, he cursed himself even further. _Great..._

* * *

Swiftly exiting the Arwing, Fox ran to the elevator eagerly, bag in tow. He'd have to return back down later, but he didn't care at the moment, thoughts placed elsewhere. Zipping through the corridors, he peered through every room to no avail.

"Wolf?" No response. Not in the kitchen. Not in any of the crew quarters. Peering into his own room, he noticed a few distinct differences.

Closet doors wide open, a towel thrown haphazardly on the floor. Noticing his hamper full of Wolf's clothes, he made a mental note to buy him some more later. Maybe they could go together? Kind of like a—

The sudden realisation hit him, filling with dread. A quick look around, just _to make sure_ he wasn't in the room, _just in case_ he could have been. Nothing, the only occupants were droplets of water on his tiled floor. Throwing the bag onto his bed, he rushed back towards the docking bay, only to notice what he had failed to moments ago; a wave of sadness hitting him.

 _"Don't leave me."_ And he had. A few hours was all it took. The betrayal stung; he said he would stay. _He promised he would... He..._ Never said he would stay... Fox was the one who made all the promises.

A metallic twang below him, deciding to pay it no attention; he already knew what the source was. Lost in thought. Wolf didn't even _let_ Fox carry out his promises. There had to be something he could do...

It didn't take him long to realise there _was_ something he could do. Hurrying to the control room, he yelled "R.O.B. Give me the co-ordinates for Krystal's Arwing." The central panel lit up in response, informing him of the scan. The map zoomed in, showing a satellite scan of the area. "Krystal landed here. Minor damage to Arwing. No pulse detected."

Of course it wouldn't know Krystal left _long_ ago. The ' _new_ and _improved'_ AI system was good, integrated into the entire ship rather than a robot more susceptible to damage, but all it did to Fox was make him feel more alone.

Heading off, he followed the co-ordinates given to find the ship, while more worrisome thoughts rushed into his head. The once comforting silence of space sparking anxiety. Blinking the moisture from his eyes, he steeled himself.

He's _fine._

Swiftly landing, the first thing he noticed was the open canopy of the ship, yet no soul to be found. "Wolf?" Searching the area, there was no sign of the lupine. "WOLF!" He called louder, still to no avail. "This isn't funny, Wolf. Come out." Voice cracking, struggling to keep his voice loud.

Nothing. He was gone. "Please?" Calling out to no one in particular, hoping by chance it was just a joke. Would Wolf be the type of person to do that?

 _Maybe I'm the joke..._

"I see... Heh..." Muttering to himself, he moved to sit against the warm metal of the Arwing. Clenching his fists, he securely planted them against the coarse dirt. He always knew this would happen sooner or later, but somehow he'd tricked himself into believing it wouldn't. A shaky, crooked smile formed on his face as he stared at the clouds.

Sure, he _could_ go look for Wolf, but what good would that do him? He'd just run again, and he couldn't force him to stay... _When did I become such a cry baby?_ The thought infuriated him; the _perfect_ Fox McCloud of Star Fox, interplanetary hero, crying over something so little. But it wasn't little to him...

 _It's cold..._

Bringing his legs inward, he wrapped his arms around in a mockery of affection. His heart trembled, crumbling his weak smile. Falling into low, continuous sobs, he dug his face deeper into the cloth of his pants. It didn't help; it wasn't the same...

He hadn't cried this much for Falco leaving, nor his death, which at the time made him feel disgusted in himself; nor when Krystal told him she wanted to 'take a break', and then never came back.

Given how she was acting, it was safe to say whatever they had was over, especially with the rumours of her and _Panther,_ of _all_ people, going around recently.

 _Maybe that would happen with me and Wolf, too._

The bittersweet optimism crushed him, knowing it wouldn't. He didn't even know what this feeling was, whether he _actually_ liked him or not. It could all be misplaced, for all it was worth. He should hate Wolf. _Despise_ him; and yet every time he saw him his heart fluctuated in ways he never knew were possible. It was over, never able to see it through.

 _I wish someone was here. I wish_ you _were here..._

The lonely clearing down here seemed far more appealing than the suffocating void above him, unconsciously deciding to stay and wallow in self-pity. _Don't cry. Why am I crying? Stop crying._ Fox thanked whatever forces there were that he was alone; he'd be mortified if anyone ever saw him in this state. Though, he wouldn't mind if...

The torrent continued.

* * *

"This the place, huh?" The imposing building towered over Wolf, a testament to the power Corneria held, a beacon of protection. No one recognised him on the way over, luckily, but now he stood conflicted as to what to do next.

Peppy should be in there. Though, he doubt that they just let anyone waltz on in. Unfortunately for Wolf, there was no other option available.

Well, he _could_ just leave this for good, never see Fox again, but it felt unfair to him. The niggling at his heart wouldn't let that happen. He wasn't lying when he said he would _try_. Clenching a fist, he walked through the automatic doors ahead. A grand lobby designed in delicate marble, a strange choice for such a pivotal building. Light shone through the giant glass roof above, illuminating the room.

Wolf couldn't help but notice splashes of red over the walls, but on second glances they were no longer there. _I don't like this place..._ Shaking his head of the visions, he walked to the elevator.

"Excuse me, sir." A voice called out beside him, observing him scrupulously. The lack of suit was a dead give away that he didn't work here; the rough grey fur with white highlights alongside the eye-patch and she realised who he was. "Mr. O'Donnell, am I correct?" Her face took a more strict look, less enthused to deal with him.

A short 'hmph' confirmed her suspicions, as she continued. "I take it you're wanting to see General Hare?"

"Is he available?"

"Not particularly, but he has no meetings today." The questioning look Wolf gave her prompted more. "Just because he has no meetings doesn't mean he isn't busy."

A click of his tongue in response. Surely this was more important than what he was doing right now. "Is there no possibility of being able to see him today?"

"Haven't you already been today to sort your business?" Shaking his head in response, she sceptically stared back. "I'll see." Reluctance oozed from her as she walked over to her desk — the one Wolf _somehow_ hadn't seen and thought to go beforehand — and picked up a phone. Following her, he arrived to hear the tail end of their conversation.

"-ll send him up now, then." Raising her head to confirm that Wolf had heard, he turned back around.

"The general may have forgiven you," Voice calling out behind him. "but it's going to take a _lot_ of work for others to. I hope you haven't forgotten your place." Her harsh demeanour stung. Raising a hand in response, he moved to the elevator; only to realise he didn't actually know which floor Peppy would be on. Guessing the top, the box began to rise.

 _"...your place."_ He clasped at the head fur between his ears, letting out a gentle huff. _Of course I didn't forget. How could I?_

After a ding, he stepped off the elevator, greeted with a long corridor. Walking down, he scanned the signs on every door as he went past until he was met with the right one. _That could've taken a lot longer._ Wolf rapped against the door, an aged voice calling out in response. "Come in."

The office was rather small, considering his rank. Very modest, no extravagant rugs or pointless bookcases full of nothing useful. "To what do I owe the pleasure of you visiting me here?"

He somehow looked even older in person, fur losing lustre and eyes dulling with his age. The bucktooth smile was inviting, detecting no malice behind it. So he really _had_ been forgiven. "We have some things to discuss."

"We do? I'm pretty sure everything should be clear by now."

"Is everything Fox said true?"

"That depends on what was said. If it were that you have been pardoned, that is correct." Pushing his glasses up his nose, inspecting the screen. "I can give you the paperwork to confirm it, too, if you so wish." Wolf shuddered.

"N-no, that's fine."

"And your thoughts on Fox's proposal?" Peppy inquired, looking pointedly at him.

"Well..." _What exactly do I say to that?_ Swallowing the lump in his throat, tensing for a moment before relaxing again. _I can't say too much..._

* * *

Blinking his eyes of the residual moisture, and wiping them for good measure, Fox awoke from his position. _I guess I fell asleep._ He curled in further, hiding his face into the damp cloth of his pants. _I don't want to go back..._

 _Not without Wolf..._

Settling on staying for now, his mind slowly whirred to life again, the tormenting spiral of events pulling him in again. Another one left...

What was he going to do now? How would he bring the Arwing back? Does he even _need_ to take it back with him? Could he continue Star Fox all on his own? Contradicting thoughts fought against each other; he loved the sky and all the freedom it provided, but he hated the pain and isolation it brought along.

And here he thought he could survive the loneliness with Wolf.

 _What time is it?_ He pulled out his phone, the display glaring back at him.

 **16:21**

 **6 missed calls:**

 **4- Peppy: 16:01, 16:02**

 **2- Unknown Caller: 15:59**

 _Huh? Oh, it's on silent, right..._ He'd muted it upon meeting with Peppy earlier, and decided there was little point in changing it back so soon, forgetting about it.. Clicking on Peppy's name on screen, it began to dial. He picked it up almost immediately, or rather someone else did.

Fox's eyes shot open, greeted with a blue hologram of Wolf instead, who's ears wilted as his brows parted upon seeing Fox. Concern written all over his face; Fox dreaded how he must have looked, but his heart leapt a little despite it. Wolf was concerned — about _him!_

"W-Wolf?" He tentatively spoke, rubbing his eyes gently.

"You finally answered! What were you doing?" Despite only being able to see his face vaguely, Wolf could make out the blood-shot puffy eyes.

"Sleeping."

Wolf sucked his lower lip in, biting gently. His plan of calling Fox was much harder in practice, not knowing what to say. What _could_ he say?

"So... What did you want, Wolf?" The way he said it so nonchalant, as if this was a normal call, under normal circumstances, caused Wolf's heart to wrench. He closed his eye for a moment, clenching his empty fist, and after a short shaky breath he spoke.

"I'll be back later..." Surprise was written all over Fox's face.

"What time?!" A quick response. "I'll come pick you up, if you want?" Knowing the other ship wasn't in the best shape, it seemed like a good opportunity.

"Whenever. Where are you?"

"Corneria."

"Good, come get me at Peppy's... Office... Building... Whatever it is, whenever you're done." Fox couldn't stop his tail from twitching. That explains why he had Peppy's phone, but what did he go there for?

"I'll come by now, then." Saying a few brief farewells, the call ended. Fox leapt into his Arwing and blasted off, making sure to avoid any trees on start-up. The journey was short, but it must have taken a while for Wolf to walk there, Fox mused.

He landed on a small landing pad on the roof. Opening the canopy of the ship, he moved to sit on the wing awaiting Wolf, fierce winds blowing through his fur. He took his phone out and texted Peppy curtly. 'here'. Kicking his legs idly, he stared at the stairwell. _Hurry up..._

The door opened, admitting a guilty looking wolf alongside the usually stern hare. Fox stifled a grin at the scene, as if Wolf had just been lectured by the other. A short nod to Peppy, and nothing else was needed to be said. "Off you go." Peppy slapped him gently on the back, pushing Wolf towards Fox, before turning and going back down where he came from.

"You ready to go back?" Fox asked, knowing the answer already. He just wanted to say _something_ to avoid it getting awkward. Wolf hummed in response. "Say, could you pilot? I'm feeling a bit... Tired."

"Okay?"

Settling in, Wolf in front and Fox in the seat behind him, the ship left as quickly as it came. Soon, they were enveloped in the darkness of space.

Wolf felt arms wrap around him, inhaling deeply in response. Hackles rising, scared out of his wits, ensnared by the other, he felt as if he was being choked. Maybe that was Fox's plan? Petrified, he sat waiting for the next move.

...

Nothing. No choking, no clawing, nothing. He began to shake gently, realising with a start that it was due to Fox. He was... Trembling?

"I-" Fox's voice broke the silence between them. "I thought you'd left for good."

Wolf suppressed the urge to say 'I _almost_ did', listening to the other speak instead. "You know, I really hate myself right now. For everything. I'm acting like a baby, crying all the time when you're not here; I'm supposed to be a mercenary damnit!" Fox continued, pouring his heart out to the other. "I hate myself for pushing everyone away. I almost did the same for you. I hate that I don't understand why I feel like this." His voice began to strain. "I hate how I'm dwelling on every single little thing. I hate not knowing what's going to happen next. How long will you be here? Are you going to leave again? I don't get why, despite everyone else leaving me, the thought of you going hurts more than they ever did."

He was panting now, clutching onto the fabric of Wolf's shirt. The ship slowed to a halt, drifting listlessly. Letting go of the controls, Wolf crossed his arms, placing each hands on the other's opposite. Fox flinched from the contact, leading Wolf to clasp them in his own.

A wordless message.

"I'm not leaving." Wolf blurt out in an attempt to soothe his nerves. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry; I know it's my fault anyway."

"I really am sorry." Wolf head cocked to the side, resting against Fox's arm. Neither said any more, content in their state, until...

"Wolf?"

"Mmhm?"

"Can I- uh... Move up to the front, with you?"

"Huh? Are you sure you can even fit through?" To prove this point, Fox released the belt over his body and manoeuvred over the seat, Wolf ducking to the side to give more space. He smoothly moved over, knocking one button in the process; a smart bomb released from the ship. Wolf stared at the other, receiving a childish smile in response. "Fine."

Fox moved to sit sideways on his lap, wrapping his arms around the others torso and nuzzling his head into his chest. Wolf complied, one arm wrapped around his back and the other resting against his leg, nestling his head above Fox's, gently stroking his neck with a thumb idly.

A blissful silence devoured the two. Fox couldn't care less for anything else around him; the sea of shining stars resonating beautifully meant nothing to him.

His beauty was right here.


	3. Chapter 3

Water cascading down the clear glass beside him, the gentle talking of those around him, the homely feeling of the room around him; all did nothing to soothe him. He thought listening in to the idle conversations, watching people go about their days, would work in distracting him, but to no avail.

A glance over to his half-finished plate, and Fox's look of content told him it was probably time to leave soon. Wolf found himself pondering on talking, to fill their awkward silence, but each time it was met with the same conclusion. He never understood how people could sit together and talk for so long; they come for food, yet find themselves staying hours on end. It made him feel odd, like an outcast.

The glares didn't help either.

Was it the eyepatch? Did they know who he was, or who he was with? Though, he also had to admit he might've been imagining it all. A cough from the other side of the table snapped him out of his worry, raised brows meeting his gaze. He probably looked like an idiot. Quickly averting his eye, he busied himself with the bag beside him.

Clothes. That's what they came for, alongside some other essentials. It left him wondering why they were here now, but it's not like they would have anything else to do together. It also just _had_ to be raining too, didn't it?

"Tch..." Wolf clicked under his breath, realising his mistakes. Somewhere along the lines his thoughts were mixed up with a lot more _we_ and _us._ He hated to admit that the red furred vulpine was getting to him.

"Something up?" Fox's words perked his ears. _Shit._

"Nah, nothing. How long we staying for?"

"Oh, uh, we can go whenever. I just thought you'd want to finish your food beforehand?"

"I'm not really hungry." Wolf didn't really want food to begin with, but Fox insisted; paying too, of course.

"Right, yeah, we can head off then, if you want?" Nodding his head in response, the two started grabbing their things and making their exit.

The cold hit them instantly, droplets of water striking their faces. Pulling up his umbrella, Fox left the shelter, only to realise Wolf had continued on regardless. Jogging to catch up with Wolf, he moved it over his head to protect him too, only for Wolf to reject it and moved ahead.

That's how they remained for a while, Fox slowly trailing behind Wolf as they continued onwards. Fox noticed Wolf's subtle head turns, his tense posture and his clenched fists. It could have been due to the cold, if he didn't know better. He found himself staring at Wolf's hands, his own gently twitching. Biting his lip, he tried again.

Instead this time, he handed Wolf the umbrella. Receiving a perplexed look, he smiled in response. Except Fox noticed how he was holding it, and practically all of him was outside anyway. Moving closer, he pushed it in towards Wolf to protect him.

"Fox, people are looking." He mumbled, inching away slightly.

"Let them." Fox closed the distance again.

"Fox..."

"I don't care, if they judge, they judge. I'm not about to let you give yourself a cold."

"You have a reputation to keep." Wolf stepped out again.

"So what? It's not like they can tell who I am anyway."

...

"Is my reputation someone who doesn't care for his..." He trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence. What _were_ they?

...

"Wolf?"

Fox grasped the handle just above Wolf, shoulders now touching sharing in each others warmth.

 _Why'd this idiot have to go and fall for me?_ "Fine." Wolf unclasped his hand slightly, and Fox noticed the invite, gladly accepting.

 _Why am_ I _falling for this idiot?_

Wolf couldn't really complain, except for that bubbling in his stomach. _Calm down._ Fingers were rubbing against his own soothingly, noticing with a start he was probably clutching too hard. He was getting short of breath again, hackles rising.

"Hey, wanna go to the park?" Fox spoke again, pointing over towards the gate. The look he received oozed _"In this weather?!"_ , so he nodded gently. "It won't be busy."

They really should be going back as soon as possible, but Wolf agreed anyway. True to his words, nobody was there; he'd at least expected a _few_ people. A short dirtied path under the canopy led them to a clearing, a few benches scattered around a large fountain; because of _course_ there's a fountain.

Looking bitterly towards it, he found annoyance building inside. Just how many of these _are_ there? He didn't even have to look at the plaque to know what it probably said. _"To commemorate Star Fox on all they did in the war."_ or something generic like that. It irritated him to no end, all it did was fuel their black and white narrative. Star Fox are 'good guys', the good guys take out Andross, the 'bad guy'. Star Wolf work for Andross, and are thus bad guys. Everyone knew this, and it was frustrating.

Yet he found himself buying into the same story.

They _were_ the bad guys. _He_ was. The numbers of the dead were uncountable, the work he did unforgivable, redemption unattainable. It was frustrating because he _himself_ knew this. Sure everyone was going to hate him, why _wouldn't_ they? The voices of anger, sorrow, resentment, all piled up and stuck with him; any time he began to think differently they always pulled him back. And that's how it should be, how it will be.

"Let's stop here for a sec." Fox brushed the puddled water off of a bench and plonked himself down. "What, scared to get your ass wet?"

Wolf followed, sitting down beside him. In turn, Fox moved closer and their arms were joined again. The instinctive glances came back.

"No one's here, Wolf." A final surveillance around him, and Wolf slumped over. His head tilted, resting gently against the others shoulder hesitantly. Fox wrapped an arm around his back and pulled him in, Wolf's head now resting against his chest in a close, yet awkward position. Wolf sighed gently, deciding to fight against stopping this.

 _Why does he have any reason to forgive me? After all I've done, I still don't understand. Using the guise of love to try excuse it. It doesn't make sense; what's there to love? He hardly knows me, I hardly know him, so why? Why does he feel like this?_

 _Why am I feeling this way too..._

"You're not a monster, Wolf." Gently whispering into Wolf's ear, Fox stroke his back gently. "It's okay, don't think about it."

Air hitched in his throat, quaking breaths leaving his lungs. It hurt, why does it hurt? The searing fire in his stomach, the stabbing pain in his chest. Droplets of rain trickled down his face.

* * *

 _How did we end up here?_

Snippets of their past conversation came flying through Fox's mind. _"Well, I cleared out the rest of the rooms, since everyone left..."_

" _Whatever, I don't care. Just face away from me."_

And that's where they were now. The two lay together sharing a bed, though a sizeable distance was still between them. He rolled onto his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. His efforts to sleep had proved futile, and the soft breathing beside him did nothing to calm him, so instead he decided to take the time to think; it had been a while since he had a moment to himself.

But his mind didn't know where to start. They all conglomerated into a jumbled mess. _What am I doing here?_ In retrospect, it was surreal how it all happened. Him and Wolf — together? It all seemed too sudden, doubts swirling.

 _Am I going too fast?_ Signs pointed to yes; he kissed him on impulse on the _first day_ of being with him. _That was a mistake... I wonder if he feels forced into this._ Another twang against his heartstrings as he realised what he was doing. Guilt, alongside sadness at the thought of that statement being true.

It _was_ fast, but the thought of being without Wolf now left him with a stabbing sensation. One he'd rather not deal with. _"it might be love..."_ Those words which had left his mouth prior was rearing it's head back at him again. _Love is probably a stretch. I hardly know him._

 _But then again, isn't that what relationships are for? Nobody attains that perfect "true love" they always try to sell, you find someone you like and you try make it work. I like Wolf, love is... Debatable. What we're doing isn't wrong..._

 _It isn't wrong, right?_

 _No. We're just hanging around, getting used to each other. It's a learning experience. Though, I really ought to try clear the air sometime soon, or else this could get bad..._

Fox felt a nudge to his leg, a light kick from Wolf in his sleep. The action brought a smile to his face, as he couldn't help but find it cute.

And that was another thing. He'd originally got so attached to the lupine because they were so similar... Alone, struggling to get by. It felt bad knowing that their relationship had started from a feeling of desperation, like he saw Wolf as an object to stop him feeling lonely. But now he kept finding more qualities about the lupine which drew him in closer. He was misunderstood; the "secret" consideration for Fox, exposing his vulnerable side, the comforting side.

It pained Fox to see him so self-hating, not knowing how good of a person he can be.

Another kick struck him, but this time it actually _hurt._ "Agh, what the hell Wo—" A quick glance over told him 'what the hell'. Another panic attack.

He hesitated. What does he do? His overwhelming desire to help only barely held back by the feeling of uncertainty. Fox would be forcing himself on Wolf again, and he'd probably feel uncomfortable. Plus, Wolf said not to look over at him, would he be angry? _I..._

The urge to help got the better of him, as he quickly moved to comfort him. One hand stroking his head, while the other shoved in an attempt to wake him up.

And it worked. The shaking slowed, and his breathing became natural again. "F-Fox?"

 _Ah, shit..._ "Wolf, I, uh..."

"What did I say?" Wolf's voice felt hurt, scared. Fox tried to move back, only to realise Wolf was clutching onto his hand, dragging it against to his chest. It thrashed frantically, and Fox could feel the deep breaths he was taking.

"Well, you kind of have my hand."

Surprisingly, Wolf turned over to face Fox, muzzles inches away. A light red tinge painted Wolf's muzzle, the sight bringing a blush to his own as well. "I'm... Sorry." Head lowering, he began to quiver. Placing his head firmly against Fox's chest, Wolf repeated. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, I've already forgiven you." Fox embraced the other, whispering.

"Why?"

"Do I particularly _need_ a reason to forgive you?"

...

"Being angry at you won't do anything, for _either_ of us."

...

"You've already shown me you're worth forgiving. You really do regret all the bad you might've done, and everyone deserves a second chance. You just can't see the positives I see, and that's fine. I'll work with you to help you see, if you're okay with me."

"It's wrong... I shouldn't— you shouldn't." Wolf clutched tighter. "I shouldn't be forgiven so easily. Even if I regret it, it was _still_ done."

"Everyone makes mistakes. I've made plenty mistakes myself." _One which almost made me lose you._ "But it's how you move with those which is important."

"Why... Why does it hurt so much? I can't— it won't stop." Laboured breaths staggered out. "My heart won't stop beating, my body won't stop shaking, my stomach won't stop churning; and yet I feel happy? I don't deserve happiness."

"Nobody decides who deserves happiness, Wolf. Yours is just as important as everybody else's." _Except to me._ "I want you to be happy."

"Stop." Wolf breathed out silently. "Please, stop." Despite his words, Wolf pushed as if he was clutching for his life.

"I can't. You don't have to go through the pain alone."

"I'm a wreck."

"You're not a wreck."

Silence enveloped the two, both content with enjoying the others presence. Fox's second guessing muted in the moment. He knew what he had to do, what he wanted to.

"Fox?"

"Hm?"

"Is this what you called love?" The bullet shot through his heart. Fox lay speechless. "I don't really get it, but it's just... I can't explain it. All I know for sure is I want to be with you, and yet..."

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, make your own choice here. Though I will say, whoever else's opinions don't matter to me, nor will you have to feel guilty about it. It's their problem."

"But still, I—"

"Don't worry about it Wolf." Fox cut him off. "Let's talk about it in the morning, I don't want you to feel rushed into a choice you wouldn't normally make."

"Oh, okay."

...

"I love you..." A low whisper from Wolf, the words clutching against Fox's heart. _I got a lot of things to think about too..._

* * *

"So, what do you think?" To say they both sat leisurely on the sofa, it felt like some sort of huge business meeting.

"You first."

"We're not going to get anywhere like this, you know?" Fox sent a questioning look at Wolf, who's ears wilted under the pressure. "Fine, first things first, what _are_ we?"

"Friends?"

"Do friends sleep in the same bed?"

"Well, _no,_ but don't you think it's a bit soon to say we're, uh..." A skittish aversion of Wolf's head, trying to avoid scrutiny.

"I guess you're right, it _is_ fast. Perhaps friends is for the best."

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't _want_ to go farther. It's just, we ought to take this all slower if it's going to work out."

...

"It _will_ work out, right?"

"Who's to say. Trust me, _I_ want this too, but sometimes things just... Don't." Fox's face look muddled in pensive thought. _Ok, so the foundation is set. There's still other things._ "Right, but what about these panic attacks?"

Wolf visibly flinched, shrinking himself down. "They're a, uh... Thing?"

"I know they're _'a thing'_ Wolf, what I want to know is what do you think can be done for it?"

"Huh?"

"If we're taking it slow, should I really be doing what I have? Like sure, I _want_ to help, but isn't it a bit much?"

"I don't know... Probably not, but..."

"But?"

"I kind of don't want it to stop." Wolf bit his lip, choosing his words as carefully as possible. "It's like you said earlier, about your 'reputation' and whatnot. Could you really stop yourself?"

"No, probably not." Looking back to the previous night, both a huge mistake and the best thing he could've done.

"It's fine. I won't get annoyed; if anything you're helping me. There's this warmth in my chest and I don't want it to go away." Shakily smiling, Wolf placed a hand on his chest to accentuate this.

"Right so, uh, hugging isn't off bounds?"

"Friend hugging?"

"I guess? Who's to say we should let that word define us though; we should just be natural with each other."

"Right. Yeah, okay."

"I also meant to give you something earlier..." Fox looked to his side, fiddling with the bag. Wolf's ears perked, now more intrigued by the object in question. "I saw it a few days ago when I went down on my own and couldn't help myself."

He handed the bag to Wolf, and inside he found a piece of pinkish-purple cloth. Unfolding it revealed it to be a scarf? "Huh?"

"I guess I got caught up and thought we... might look... uh, cute together, or something. Ya know, matching and all that?" Bringing up a claw to scratch away the red, his eyes kept shifting over to Wolf and away. He couldn't help but notice the goofy smile on the others muzzle.

"Aw, thanks." His first _actual_ gift from someone. He couldn't stop the giddiness from rising up in his stomach. The foreign feeling had becoming gradually more prevalent, and he was still struggling to get used to it.

"So, now that's out of the way, wanna watch some TV, or something?"

"Sure." They flicked the screen on and were greeted with the usual nonsense. Nothing really _entertaining,_ but it was something to do together. Wolf slowly rested his head against Fox's shoulder as he browsed the channels, earning a smirk.

"This isn't very _friend_ like..."

"Oh, uh, sorry!" Sitting back upright, he stared at the screen to hide his blunder.

Only for Fox to do the same thing he did. "I didn't say I _minded..._ " It was such a rare sight, seeing Wolf get so flustered; Fox couldn't help but find it adorable. "We shouldn't force ourselves to be too awkward with each other, I think..."

"Hm..." Fox's hand found itself on the others leg, only for Wolf to grasp it with his own.

 _I'm unsure this whole "friend" thing is going to last long..._


End file.
